The Lunacy of Loch Ness

For those of you not up to speed with your Scottish geography, Loch Ness (translation: Lake Ness) is nestled in northern Scotland near a town called Inverness (population 72,000). In looking for a restaurant review on Yelp last night, I read this gem of a description “Inverness is a hell-hole. It is filled entirely with charity shops and pubs you’d never go it, it’s grey, windy and generally makes you want to die…”. Thank you, Claire B. Well said.

So, the town is not so great. However, the lake is scenic, ringed with green trees aplenty (including imported Douglas Firs from the good ol’ US of A) and is dark and murky enough to conjure Scottish fairy tales.

The crazy thing about this place is that its entire tourist industry is based on a fictional monster; the Loch Ness monster, that is. Never mind that the lake is too murky to support a major food supply, or that no one really talks about how dang old this prehistoric creature would be now since it’s alleged first modern sighting in1933 OR that every famous picture of it has been debunked.

Doesn’t matter. This whole town is hook, line and sinker pro-Nessie. You can buy her likeness on everything from t-shirts to shot glasses, and we even parted ways with £21 (that is almost $28 even against a weak pound!) for a family ticket to go to the Loch Ness Centre and Exhibition, which is a very involved semi-Disney-esque place that guides the visitor through the origins and mysteries of the beloved monster.

At the end of the day, we saw people from Russia, Texas, Granada Hills and beyond, all clamoring onto boats and shorelines to catch a glimpse of this famous Loch. So, I am pro-Nessie too. As they so astutely pointed out  in the Loch Ness Centre, no one has ever proven Nessie exists, but no one has ever proven she doesn’t exist either. Theologists, discuss.


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