I have found that putting my experiences into words while we live here has made me more aware and reflective of every day life. It is in that spirit that I want to share what it feels like to be sitting in Italy, far from home, hours after the Presidential election winner was officially announced. Our election night started off (like many at home, I am sure) with a sense of anticipation and relief. We had finally made it through months of the ugliest political race we have seen in my lifetime. At last, I wouldn’t have to keep defending the candidates to our bewildered friends here. I put Sylvie to bed and told her, “tomorrow, we will have a female President”.
I think it was because the results started coming in during the dead middle of the night, but all of a sudden the election took on an almost surreal quality. The talking heads started off discussing the chilled champagne at the Democratic HQ, and how Hillary had picked the Javits center because it had a glass ceiling. The significance was clear.
But, as the map started to bleed red, first with the states that we suspected, then with those “battleground” states that everyone had polled as close, but Democratic, the cold truth washed over me. We would not have a woman in the White House in 2016. We would not have a Democrat in the White House.
This election means that over 60 million people are so angry and hopeless that they will vote for anyone that promises them that their dreams will come true. Or worse, that all of “those people” stealing their American jobs or lurking in corners to do harm will be whisked away. Swamps will be drained. Walls will be built. She will be locked up. The language alone is terrifying. What lies beneath it is even more ghastly.
I know that a lot of the “coastal liberals” were talking to themselves for months. As I read hundreds of compelling NYTimes articles about the danger of the Republican nominee, it often occurred to me that most people around the country were not reading those same articles. I know that we are a country that is terribly divided. But, now we are a country at great risk.
Friends have joked about us getting a head start on our move abroad if Clinton didn’t win the election. Today, that doesn’t feel funny. It feels too sad to describe. I had to hold back tears when I woke Sylvie up this morning. I told the kids that Hillary lost. Incredulously, Noah, said, “Wait, what?! Really?”. Yes, really.
I have to find hope because I still want to believe that, even though we are a country that is clearly fractured, we can still come together as united states. We are still stronger together.